Free days or no free days, that is the question

The part that I hate about "diets" is that when you deny yourself things that you *think* you want, then you think about it all the time and set yourself up for failure. If you don't "allow" yourself your vices, once in a while, then when you do "fall" you fall hard and don't get back up.


When starting to eat healthier, I think it's important to schedule times that you "allow" yourself your vices. My love affair with french fries can't end so abruptly. Some people can break relationships off cold turkey, but this is one where I think I'll need more time.

But, since I already started with the relashionship analogy, why not go there. If a boyfriend/girlfriend was terrible for you, made you feel like crap, and was just all around abusive most people would end that relationship pronto! I wouldn't think twice, especially when it's physical abuse. Hey, emotional abuse too. Yet, we continue our abusive relationship with "bad" foods. Me? I let them treat my body and my mental health (especially emotional) in the poorest mannor and stick with it time and time again.

The problem is that when it's all you know - and you've tried to change your lifestyle only to be drawn back time and time again, how do you make a permanent change without any hint of the life you knew? I had a boyfriend similar to this - it was unhealthy (not as extreme as above), but without something drastic I just couldn't quit going back to him. We were on and off again for about 5.5 years (well, together for the first @ 3-4.5 and on/off for the last 1.5-2). It's been the same thing with the "bad" foods.

To some of you this seems melodramatic. To some of you I'm a stupid, silly girl who is too much in her head. Well, the in my head is true! But, for some of us this food thing is this complicated. It's not just fuel for your body. It's a comfort, it's a hug when you need it, it's a boost when you're down, it's a "friend" when you're bored. Yet, it's the cause of mood swings, extra weight, heart disease, etc. It's the most unhealthy relationship most of us will have - and the hardest to break. But, the reason we're all here is because we want to change. I would like to see food as fuel. I'd like to it would be nice to suceed in being healthier instead of whining about it all the time. And, I don't want to be the typical American, who only changes when something drastic happens. I just don't know how to kick this love affair with a clean slate all at once.

I still feel like, towards the end of this break up, I will need the option for the food equivalent of a booty call until I can kick it and be done with some of these bad relationships. I will give myself a day each week to have a vice or two. For example, holidays, anniversaries and birthdays are free days...it just won't work for me right now unless I have provisions. I will chose whichever foods I feel like having with no guilt and no thoughts of cheating. If I want cake, I will have cake. If I want carrot sticks and apples instead, then that's what I'll have! Furthermore, for now, I plan on Saturdays being my regularly scheduled "free" day. Saturdays are my date days with my husband, so I can't guarantee I'll eat well on those days. Besides, I think it'll be easier to calm the crazy food thoughts (I gotta have it and I gotta have it now!) if I can say: yes, but Saturday is your day for that so wait. But, I'm not setting it up so that I feel I need to do it. It's an if I want this is the day to do it. Just until I can get back on my feet to be more intuitive about it!