Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Holiday Picture Nightmare

How is it that we can focus and talk about getting healthier all day long and still be in denial? How can we ignore everything? I talked about it before - many times - so many I'm exhausted with it...yet I was still slapped in the face with the picture I'm using for my profile. Go look now.



Notice how the belly makes me look pregnant. Notice how it rounds out. See the large arms?What about the chin that shouldn't slope at an angle for a transition instead of seperation of neck and chin. That's what I saw...it's the weight that has creeped up again over the past few months. It's one thing to know you need to lose weight. Let's face it, no woman should weight 218 lbs. Well, maybe women at this site, but not one that is 5'7"! But, it's another thing to have a picture send you back to reality. This is why avoiding pictures is bad. It lets you ignore all the signs that say "hey, stupid, you are not putting good things in your mouth!" Food, not other things, you dirty minded people ;)
Something else just happened too. My 2nd pair of pants in the past few months just split. I wear them down between the thighs, and it split tonight. Thank goodness it wasn't in front of my class! I would have been mortified. In my defense I was only wearing 3 pairs b/c I kept hoping to lose the weight again. But, it's still embarassing.


Stop freaking out you say? Ok. I guess I should let it motivate me to change. I will turn it into a positive. I will change my habits before I'm buying plus sizes again. I can do this.

8 comments:

The Happy Runner said...

First, yes, you can.
Second, I've seen your pictures and you are beautiful (no, don't think I'm weird and stalkery, please!).
Third, I just had a pair of pants split in the inner thighs, too. It happens!
Fourth -- OMG, I am going on and on -- do let the picture motivate you. It isn't NEARLY as bad as you think, however. But, I recall about 6 or 7 years ago seeing a picture of myself looking just big. All butt and puffy face and all the rest. I was horrified. So, I know that pictures can be motivating.

But don't be hard on yourself!!!

Chantelle said...

I think you still look beautiful as you are, but I know that you want to be thinner.

I wish you all the best. You'll get there. I know you will.

Go Diana! xx

Mama Bear June said...

You can do this! Get some positive motivation, too, not just negative pictures that freak you out. :-) Goals for healthy living are what will help us reach our goals this year!
Path to Health

Confessions of a Wandering Soul said...

Hi there,
I must say that I find the image on your blog very inspiring and therapeutic. I could relate to your pains. And if I were you, I would keep the split pants as a memento and one day I would look back and realise how far I have come.The biggest enemy to weight loss is not food but one's insecurities.If we find the courage to fight our inner demons, we would definitely lose weight.So keep on fighting your inner demons. May success be with you :)

Dr. Wifey said...

we are our own worst critics. i think that picture of you is great. i don't notice any of those things you do! seriously! i am the same way with my clothes - i REFUSE to buy plus sizes again, ever

Natalia said...

All of my pants have holes on the inside seam where my thighs rub together. As soon as I have some moola I will get some new ones, and it will happen again. I wear them out!

Use this picture to motivate you, not tear yourself down. :) You can and will get back on track!!! I know you will!!!

Felicia said...

1. WOW don't be so hard on yourself. Would you think that way about someone else? YIKES girl! Be nice!

2. If you think that you look bad then please never ever go to my blog and view my pictures as I can only imagine what I must look like through your eyes since you feel you look bad and WOW you so dont ( can we sa RUN ON SENTENCE!).

3. Did I mention before WOW dont be so mean to yourself!

4. Nothing will motivate us till it does. I know that doesnt make sense but seriously. I used to think "I would never lose this weight unless I had a heart attack first to motivate me". Umm didnt have a heart attack to get motivated but it also was just a small moment in time that was the trick and not something I thought the "light bulb moment" would be either. When its 'that time' it will be 'that time' till then you can only do what you can do to keep moving forward. Start with giving yourself a break.

Lastly.. girl go by some new pants. You are just adding one more thing to your "beat yourself up pile" but punishing yourself by not allowing yourself some new clothes. Today is what you have. Tomorrow no one knows. Go buy some pants lol.

*huggles* Chin up chickie! Remember the turtle won the race!!

=0)

SeaBreeze said...

Have you re-read the horrible messages you are giving yourself? Sorry but this is probably not the best language to use for a body that keeps you going day in and day out.

"Notice how the belly makes me look pregnant. Notice how it rounds out. See the large arms?What about the chin that shouldn't slope at an angle for a transition instead of seperation of neck and chin...hey, stupid..."

I bet you'd never let someone get away with saying these things about themselves, so why do you say it to yourself?