Sunday, June 7, 2009


I don't recommend that you use the deoderant trick for heavy working out. Just an fyi...please don't blame me if you hurt because you try it! I've only done it for things that aren't strenuous.

I'm trying the tofu tomorrow. Can't avoid it any longer! lol. It will be fabulous. If it isn't though, I we have an oriental salad with the parts already made up and so it will be quick and easy to put together. So, I already have good things in place!
I'm going personal again, so bear with me. Just need to work it all out.

It’s happening. My body is betraying me!!! We've talked about not having children from day one. We’ve discussed it at length. When will it happen? There’s no optimal time. I will be 32 (best case scenario) when I get a job. Then starting my career. Then getting financially stable. Then I’m at the age, after all that, that either I can’t have kids or the chances of downs syndrome increase dramatically.

Regardless, I just about started crying yesterday at the thought of having a child. I let myself entertain the idea of having kids (my hubby said my body would do this and I’d want one, so we should think about it. lol. Such a romantic). Now? My SIL is trying. And, the thought of having one caught my heart in my throat. I wanted it so bad. If only for a moment, my heart was breaking that we aren't pregnant. Darn him for putting this into my head! I swear I didn't really realize it was something I wanted!

Now's not a good time, but I will be done with school in one year. One short, albeight stressful, year. That's it. I'll be a grown up... on the outside at least! (btw: yes, I realize I have been grown up age wise for a while, but let's just let me be in denial :)

One year and we can think about having a baby. Yes, I'll be starting my career, but what if it's something we want in a year? What if we decide it is for us once we move?

But, I’ll be damned if I bring a mini-me into this world with known issues. Especially my food issues. *sigh* I want to have a healthy pregnancy. I want to be healthy, I don't want to pass on these bad habbits. It’s something to work for. If I want to have a baby anytime in my life, I need to change things. The time is now.

What’s a girl to do when her concept of herself changes in a month?


Felicia said...

You do know that there will never be a "perfect" time right? I mean seriously this is life and if its not this issue we have lol its another issue we have. This is happening or that is happening. If we just... And then we can always throw in there the "oops". Which does happen just ask me LOL Planning is great ( wish I had planned it - like it happening YEARRRRRRRRRRRRs before it did lol) being older parents is tough some days. But Joshua planned his timing not me. I apparently was along for the ride.

I say do what you want to do not what you think you should do when you think you should do it.

Healthy is as healthy as you can be at the time it happens. =0)

As for can the concept of a person change in a month? UMM HELLO did you read the motorcycle post? Try a change in the matter of a red light LOL

Ok as I type this I have the feeling I missed your point but hope it was some help at least lol

Have a great day ok and yikes sorry about the deodorant trick LOL OUCH!


Mama Bear June said...

Sending hugs and prayers your way that you will know what is right for you and when. And just know that sometimes God takes that decision out of your hands. :-)
Path to Health

Crazylady said...

Oh I so know how you feel on this one! Myself and hubby never wanted kids and in fact he still doesn't but I find myself lately surrounded by woman who are either pregnant, trying or have kids already. My SIL has also just announced she is pregnant with her 2nd. Half me me thinks it's the next step and maybe I could be good at it?! The other half of me screams no way... reminding me of how much a kid I still am myself and how much I like getting enough sleep, being able to go out when we feel like it etc etc.... And then like you there's the I need to get my weight/eating problems under control before I even think about this. Selfishly I'm scared that getting pregnant will be an excuse for me to get fatter. It's just an emotional minefield. Sigh.

Tom Rooney said...

To quote John Lennon - "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

Diane, fit to the finish said...

Hi - thanks for the comment on my blog. I wanted to see what you were up to. Good for you on getting your eating under control and trying to lose weight.

As a Mom to 7 kids, 3 of whom I had after the age of 35, I wanted to encourage you to know that if you want a child, there is no perfect time! There is no perfect age. And although the doctors scare you to death about Down's Syndrome, the 1 in 100 number at age 40 still means that 99 out of 100 babies don't have Down's. That's a 99% chance that your baby will be fine if you choose to have one! (Not to say it's always easy to get pregnant at a later age!)

Keep up the good work and I enjoyed reading your posts. Diane

Dr. Wifey said...

mother nature is crazy like that - hubby and i never really wanted kids, then all of the sudden that proverbial biological clock started going bonkers and i find myself wanting to get pregnant. weird stuff. hubby wants to wait for a good time. yeah right *hugs*

Miz said...

I completely get this post.
I married lateish and was SO in the DONT CARE IF I AM EVER A MOTHER...until I did.

xo xo,