Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Discussions with others

I got to thinking the other day (through someone else’s post…I told you I was an idea stealer!) about compliments or talking about weight loss issues. There are people that love to talk about it. Why not? It can be a very big accomplishment and something to be proud of. Me? It feels like weight loss is the most important part to other people, yet only one of many issues I have. I hate to talk about even exercising or food issues at all with other people in face to face life. Sometimes even my face to face friends. It just feels like a really personal thing and something very private.

Is that bad? Is it bad that I don’t like talking about it? That it makes me uncomfortable? The reason I ask is that as I type this I was thinking about why I don’t want to talk about it. I am a private person somewhat. But, with close friends I am usually free to talk about a lot of issues that would make most blush. I can talk about sex, bodily functions, etc. Nothing is really off limits, besides specifics about me and my hubby doing the deed. But this? This is too private for me to talk about to most people. Maybe it’s the shame. Maybe it’s that then I have to admit to other people that I have an eating disorder (compulsive eating…with a few times of purging as well…don’t worry, it hasn’t been for a little while). Maybe it’s the shame or fear of persecution. Why would I feel this way?
I’m proud of the changes I’m making. Regardless, there is only one face to face person that I really talk to about this. Only because she’s going through the same issues. I have no desire to talk to anyone else. It’s an invasion that I just don’t want to deal with right now.

So, what do you think. Can we really get over these issues if we’re closed off to talking about it in our day to day lives (away from the online)? Should (there’s that evil word again!) I want to talk about it with folks other than y’all? What do you guys say about healthy living with face to face contacts?


Crazylady said...

I think you know yourself best and if you don't want to talk about these issues with most people that's perfectly ok. The fact that you are so self aware is great in itself and you do have one person you can talk too (as well as the online community) which is wonderful too.

I don't talk to many people about my food issues either. Why? Because I know most of them just won't get it or just can't see past their own issues or their opinions about me and who they think I am. That's ok though. I guess we have to learn to live with ourselves first and worry about others later. Maybe that sounds selfish but I think in some ways it's necessary.

Diana said...

I can handle selfish (not backstabbing, but selfish that way, yes)! It's our bodies and our lives. We may only get one chance to live!

The Happy Runner said...

That's a tough one. I don't talk about food/body issues face to face, either. I never have. I used to be heavier and I just could never talk about dieting or trying to lose weight. I just felt weird and uncomfortable. I would have liked to be one of those people who could say "I'm going to lose 20 pounds" and then go do it. But, I don't work that way. You have to do what you're comfortable with!!!

MargieAnne said...

I don't talk much about weight loss. I just don't like the way some people respond so it's better to keep it here, or to myself. Even at WW I am not all that comfortable.

You get the goody two shoes who act shocked by the smallest slips. You get the ones who cannot understand why you ever let yourself have weight/food issues and so it goes on. I like to protect myself from the insensitive and those who lack understanding. It has nothing to do with shame.

I have also been bored to tears by other people going on about their diets/weight-loss/healthy eating. I don't want to be a bore.

Do what feels right for you.

carla said...

I have to chime in with the DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU and do what MOTIVATES YOU to stick to it all.

the power of the internet is amazing---Id love to see research on the increase of success in weightloss/maintaining since people have begun using it.

Natalia said...

Hmm, I think that wherever you feel the safest to express yourself is where you should do it. The thing about blogging and the internet, you've found people that get it! We're all struggling with pretty much the same issues. Your real world friends, probably, I'm guessing, won't get it. I don't talk about my weight/food/exercise issues with very many people, only those that I KNOW will get it.

So wherever you feel you get the most support and whatever will help you the most, that's the right answer for you!!!

Natalia :)

Mama Bear June said...

I don't think any of us are obliged to talk about it. If someone asks why you are looking so awesome, just say "Healthy eating and regular exercise - go figure!" ;-)
Path to Health