Thursday, May 15, 2008

obsessions

First off, I just joined the Healthy Walkers Team by Irish Mom and DaDivia Street. I'm excited...I've been really needing this to get me motivated. I, now, feel like others are relying on me. I know it's stupid, but this gives me the push I think I needed. Inertia is a bitch for me (excuse the language, but it warrents it).

However, this isn't the reason I'm writing. My food obsession isn't just a food obsession (compulsive eater). I've realized my compulsive personality is getting in teh way and not so healthy. I'm a compulsive eater, was a compulsive shopper (seriously...debt up the wazoo), ex-smoker, sometimes blogging, etc. Most of them I've taken care of. The big issue now? I've recently found myself weighing myself more than once a day. I tell other women on the bloggs that it's healthier to do it once a week, but now that I'm losing it's exciting to do it once a day. O.k., once a day isn't terrible as long as I can keep in mind that there will be fluctuation. BUT, why would I weight myself the rest of the day? (I'm talking about 3-5x per day) Do I think it's going to go away, or is it that I want to see more? Where is it going? Why would I need more? Crazy talk. I just need to know...does it get better? I suppose I need to work on this too. I don't want the weight loss to be so much a part of my life that I burn out on it too. I want to be healthy, not unhealthy in a different way!!

OH, and due to the compulsive WI's I know I'm down @ 5-6 now. (I'm eating 1300-2000 calories and am losing this much weight...imagine how much food I was eating!). This post kind of sucked the fun out of the weight loss, but I'm still proud of myself!

Ok, now I have to go start a different a healthier compulsion (ok, not compulsion...habit is a better word!!)...I'm trying to create one to walking :) Why not have it work for me!

6 comments:

DaDivaStreet said...

Welcome to the Challenge! Don't forget to log those steps! I've included you in the Walker Blog roll. Working on a Blog page for the Team. Will have it in place on Monday! My email should show up,if so, email me so I can send you the link!
P.S. When I 1st started losing, I weighed myself several time a day cause I couldnt believe the loss. I stopped because even drinking water would change the numbers & would drive me crazy! Whoo Hoo on the loss!
http://dadivastreet.wordpress.com

Crabby McSlacker said...

It's cool that you're excited about your weight loss... but I think you're instincts might be right given you've said you have some issues around compulsive behavior. Probably best to just check in once a day at the same time, keep fluctuations in mind, and back slowly away from the scale...

Good luck, both with the weight and the scale-management.

Lasserday said...

healthier compulsion, almost funny. kinda not. :) i hear you. and i agree with crabby, i tend to fall into the multiple a day weigh ins but they do nothing. :) yay on the loss, though!

Cammy said...

The internal work is sometimes harder than the external stuff. :)
Good for you for trying to turn what might be perceived as a negative into something that works for you positively. As long as you're not walking 10 hours a day or anything. LOL

Welcome to the challenge! See you in Grand Rapids! :)

Irish Mom said...

I am a compulsive eater too!! At least you caught yourself before you got WAY out of hand. My sister works out faithfully, and complains she feels like crap when she *has* to skip, why couldn't I be like that?!?! How did that gene skip my DNA????

Sunflower said...

walking is a safe, great way to lose plus it is just nice to be outdoors and you can walk anywhere