HYC check in and questions

I haven’t made any weight progress, but definitely making progress on the area!

I'm asking my questions first since I really, really want the answers! Have you had Ezekiel bread? Do you have a substitute in mind if you don't like multigrain (the super duper healthy stuff)? (high taste buds + used to fattening foods = not loving multigrain bread) My other: does flax seed taste (more importantly...does it taste bad?)

I’ve been reading you, on a diet. Slowly. But, it’s making sense. They talked about the start of being overweight in history (Americans being over weight)...and it started NOT with fast foods but with agriculture. Why does this matter? Because it's important to realize that our bodies are made for times of hardship...and what's out there can make us fat because of how food sources have changed. It's stuff I knew, but didn't think about much. I think it'll get to a good point....just need to put together. They also had a "diet" quiz, and I scored average. As they point out, it's not bad since it's average but it's average in our country to be fat. Ouch, but true.


I am also trying to get to the book that I won (yippee), the eat-clean diet for family and kids. I won’t be reporting any recipes (except MizFit b/c she asked and gave this to me even though she doesn’t have a copy!), but I will let you know stuff about it. I like the idea…since I’d like to get back to natural type foods. Less processing and more home cooking! And the recipes aren’t that bad (of COURSE I’ve looked!), but some are questionable. I will give it a good go though. There are a few online recipies here.

anxiety

I've been thinking about my eating a lot lately. I've lost touch of when I'm truely hungry and when I'm eating for other reasons. But, it's not always like this. There have been times, in the not so distant past, where I've gotten back in touch with hunger eating. There have been times in the past where I've realized that I don't have that far to go (like I "realized" again in the post bellow). There have have been times where I've gotten control over the obsessive eating even. All this tells me is that I need to look a little bit further than I'm eating bad or I'm compulsive eating. I've been trying to address these issues instead of getting to the bottom of things.

I've begun to see a pattern with my compulsive eating. Besides the obvious issues (realizing the food will be there later, realizing I'm not really hungry, etc.), but the other issue is anxiety. I think sometimes I use food to compensate for anxiety I'm having. Especially about school. I'm a higly anxious person to begin with, but add in grad school and it's kicked into hyper drive. I think this anxiety is apart of what keeps me from doing my work ahead of time, it causes me to veg out in front of the tv and "lose" myself in shows (to ward off the anxiety or near panick), my constant checking of the blogs I follow, and I think it also contributes to eating.

Like bored or emotional eating, this type also provides a distraction. I think I use it as my way out. I've noticed lately that when I think about school and how much I have to do and how overwhelming it seems, I immediately switch to obsessing about food and about eating. WTF???!!! Is this how it is every time? I never realized it before, but maybe.

It's messed up, but at least I'm seeing the pattern now. You see, I thought I had controlled the anxiety during the day (the sleep issues are a different story...getting help for those). I thought I was doing ok in everyday life. Yeah, I don't think so. I just transfered. The next step, the harder step, is finding what to do with the anxiety. I may have to journal, I may have to seek outside help, but I have things I can do now.

Reality check

I'm beginning to feel better. Thanks for the well wishes! No shake, shake, shakin' my booty, but we did go to the fair and had a good time walkin around with my hubby. We watched the kids going on the rides, walked around the animal exhibits (except the cows...we won't get into why the hubby hates cows), and also the food. We didn't eat a lot, but it was along the lines of what I've been having lately. Junk. It didn't even taste all that great, which is just that much more irritating. now, the other food I've been eating - tasting better but so not good for me.

I've been watching discovery health's "we've lost 800 lbs." It's about two amazing women who collectively have lost 800 lbs, one with gastric bypass and one without. As an aside, if you ever think gastric bypass is the "easy way out", then watch this show or one like it on discovery health. Or I have two friends, one blogger and one not, that may be able to teach you about this one. I got to thinking though...these women have worked so hard and lost such an amazing amount. To see their struggles, emotions and amazing will was a reminder of how attainable my goals are.

One of these women was struggling to walk after complications. Really, she didn't walk that well to begin with. She had a hard time getting into the back of a van on her way to her surgery, and even felt that she couldn't do it. Get into the back of the van with help. The other woman had lymphodemia so bad on one leg after a tumor removal that she couldn't wear normal shoes and couldn't walk without the fold from above her ankle dragging on the floor. This is all besides the hundreds of pounds they've lost.

And, I'm struggling with losing a measly 40-60 more pounds! I'm struggling with the idea of one day having a little extra skin. They've lost my weight (toghether) 4 times, each two times over. It makes you wonder how we can take these things for granted and whine about our struggles. How we can feel that staying away from french fries, or ice cream can be so aweful and "unfair"! No, that's the consequence of wanting a healthier life. It's a choice. I'm hoping that this, along with the new tools I've acquired, can help me with my own mission to be healthier.

Why I didn't remember my mom's advice until commenting on another blog and seeing this makes me sad, but better late than never. She alwas said that there are so many other people that have it much worse off than you do. How can we say "poor me" given that? She also used to say that, with one exception on earth, your weight is someone elses goal weight. Appreciate what you can do now and what you have in your life.

Still sick

Still sick, but I'm getting better. AND, I didn't get work done so I'm ubber behind. Therefore, you get another installment of a happy, short, and sweet post! But, I will take a break (uh, the link below doesn't as a break since I was still at the computer, right??) from working tonight to go see KC & the Sunshine Band! Yep, I'm a dork, but my hubby brought it up so he's a bigger dork! Match made, huh?

I found a cute page for all you doggie lovers. Did I mention I was an UBBER dork? No, well I am :) Give it commands like dance, shake, fetch, roll over, etc. Dance is my favorite...make sure you at least try that one!

Now that I've sufficiently distracted you from your own work, go out and shake, shake, shake your booty :)

Blog award

So, Dr. Wifey was sweet enough to give me a blog award. I love her blog...she's very real about things and has just enough humour to keep it fun :) I would give it to her, but she already got it! I would translate it, but I don't speak portugese, so I'll steal from Dr. Wifey! It's: "This blog invests and believes in proximity." Meaning, that blogging makes us 'close' by proxy. (I think she stole it from someone else, so I guess if it's wrong we may be a few clicks away from the origin).

So....hmm....of course I'd give it to MizFit (I talk of her ALL the time, why not:), but also DaDivia Street, and Felicia's Life Happens. These women are all strong and wonderful on their own, but their blogs are informational, warm and deeply touching in very different ways.

HYC check in

Short and sweet again. I'm sick. Yes, it's inevitable...with me teaching and taking classes at a U, and my hubby taking classes, we come into contact with too many germs. Worse things in life could definately happen though.

Weight, same. but, I'm reformulating my eating plan and once I'm healthy get back to working out.

I'd still like to hear thoughts on the book (see below post), so if you've read you on a diet or you the owners manual give me a comment!

YOU on a DIET

Yes, I bought Memhet Oz's (and the other guy...sorry to the other guy!!******) book about diets. I went to buy the intuitive eating book, but he seems to have much of the same messages that the other has, although I havne't gotten very far into the book. My question: have you read this book (YOU on a DIET, not you the owners manual...although I'd like to hear about both!) and what did you think about it?

Diet's don't work for most people, but we know at least one that's had each one work so it's easy to want to jump on the band wagon of quick weight loss. The problem is that I don't know of anyone that has stuck to a diet or way of life and not gone back (even WW...sorry to those that are using it...maybe I just missed you! Feel free to tell me I'm wrong!).

Me? I lose about 15-20 pounds and then either gain it back or this time I'm here and here alone. I'm one that I either have to stick or I'm off the bandwagon, and I fall hard. As anyone who's been reading for a while knows! That's why I'm looking for something else. No magical cure, just something to make it click and please, please, please not add another thing to feel guilty about (like diets for me)...I do enough of that already.
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*****Update: Dr. Michael Roizen and Dr. Mehmet Oz. Wonderful stuff!

Weekend get away

The evil manager is coming over to inspect our tv system. My husband invited her over (I think he's just pissy at the idea of them barging over un-announced...we're private people), so we asked for it. What can she possibly tell from this though? At least she can see that we don't have a bass system hooked up anymore. I doubt it'll help. I think biding our time and day dreaming about a better living arrangement will help lots more.

On a better note...we are going away! Ok, not permenantly yet, but for the weekend :) We get to go to DFW (where the in laws are from). I'm super excited to get away from podunk (or however you spell it!) and go to the city. What's even better is that my sister in law is visiting from Houston (crappy situation of why she's there, but I'll enjoy the company regardless). AND, I'm taking Friday off so it'll be like a long weekend for me. We're not really supposed to since there is a presentation 3:30-5, but I made these plans months ago...and I refuse to feel guilty for seeing family we haven't seen since Christmas!. I just want to hit the road as soon as the hubby is done (late morning) and get out of Dodge.

So, this weekend will be spent with getting away from the crabby neighbors, good home cookin', but most importantly good company and the puppy can have fun with the in-laws doggies! I think it's just what we all need!

food - I love and loathe you...and itsn't that the problem!

So, I've got the exercise thing up and running...so far. Intertia seems to be broken though, and that's a good thing!

Food is a different story. Food is my problem, and it really shouldn't be because it's fuel for you body. When MizFit was talking about intuitive eating (or more how a program suggests you stock your kitchen with your favorite foods until you realize that you can have it whenever you want) I thought it was crazy for me. Maybe for a regular old over eater it *may* work, but me? No way. I'm a binge (aka compulsive) eater, so that may be a terrible thing. Certain foods definatley trigger binges...like the past 2 weeks when I bough potato chips and dip then tortilla chips and salsa. I gorged on them, then it was food fest 08. I won't tell you the calories one can rack in a day, but let me just say it's a lot. A whole lot.

But, I heard more one a radio talk show about intuitive eating and really making all your food available so that you don't have the freak outs that cause you to binge. Yah, like a morning talk show is a great source! BUT, they actually found an article that spouted the wonderful research associated with it...and specifically how you can get kids to binge eat or eat more of things and hate food that's good for them. It totally made sense! I am thinking about trying it. I would love to be able to have potato chips and dip in the house and have my husband enjoy them along with me. I would love to have chipped beef dip for crackers (with cream cheese and scallions...totally yummy) or cheese cake in the house and not gorge until I want to get rid of it all. I think I'll talk to a professional before taking this on myself though!

Warning, warning....major bitching, er, venting ahead!

I just have to say...it can be the best day and then one little thing happens and all of a sudden life changes. I was having a good day, considering it is Tuesday and those are my uber busy days. Anyway, I stopped to get my gate clicker reprogrammed at our apartment complex (wasn't working at all) and what happens? The manager, a fake as can be person "asks" us if we have our surround sound base against a wall. Like where else do you put surround sound speakers? I guess several people have been complaining again, and of course it's us.

We got complaints against us before - not for partying but for having the tv with surround sound too loud. So we turned the bass off of the sub and we thought life was great. Well, I guess people have still been complaining and no one told us. The thing is, how can something against an outside wall with no bass turned on piss off multiple people?? Besides the fact that you wanna know when the "roudy" activity is happening? In the afternoon. Yes, it's not at 2 in the morning or even 10 at night....it's from 3pm to 7. I thought that paying more for our apartment would mean that these issues woudlnt' be a problem, but I'm thinking that we need to move into a house rental and that's that. How can people be that petty when the "problem" is happening between 3 and 7. Give me a break children. We get to move in January. I can't WAIT till January.

Ok, done venting for now. I may feel better.

Exercise & a new walking challenge

I re-assessed my 100 push ups since I did them last. I keep talking about doing it, but never really doing it. Big talkers can be annoying, but ya...I fell into the trap. What does that mean? It means that I'm actually doing it! Today was the first day. Now, I'm starting with against a counter that's about hip high. That's just my level. I will switch to the "girly" kind, but I may not until these 6 weeks are done. Why not switch earlier, you ask? Well, I figure that I have time since I plan on exercising forever from now on. Also, plans work for me (see prior post). And, yes, I am still walking the doggie in the am for 30+ minutes (I aim for at least 30, which means I usually over shoot and do 40-ish). I'm just a challenge sort of girl.

And, here is the "challenge" in case you're wondering. It's a 30 day walking challenge, now on @ day 14. Yes, I'm late, but hey...I can challenge myself. I think my goal will be to walk every day until Christmas instead? OR, maybe I will log my miles like I talked about before and see how far I can get. My mom used to have a forum online where they logged miles (collectively, but hey...it works) from NYC to Ft. Lauderdale. How fun would it be to see where we could go! I think that's my new goal. Anyone wanting to join me feel free to hop along :) But, in case it's me alone (and I only walk for 30-40 minutes now), I think I'll make it from Washington, D.C. (cause I've been there) to Jacksonville, FL. It's still a way long way to go (706 miles), but at least I can do that in a year! (The other was 1272, which if I go 2 miles/day it'd take over 600 days. Wowser. Maybe I'll do that next time...or if I KNOW I have help :)

So far I've done @ 6 miles. So, I have 700 to go till Florida :)

Working Out

I don't know why, but I can't seem to make myself do the Couch 2 5 K (instead of couch 2 couch). Well -maybe that's not true. Maybe that's because I have back isssues and get shin splints. Maybe because I'm lazy and have a hard time putting forth the effort. Either way, it's not a good motivator to start exercising.

I found out yesterday about a walking challenge (30 minutes/day for 30 days). Now walking, I can do. Besides, I talked about taking the doggie for a walk every day back when I started this blogging thing, so that works for me. Why is it that inertia is terrible when just needing to work out, but you put it in a "challenge" and suddenly it's do-able. Whatever the reason, I will take it and run.

OH, did I mention that Miss Gretchen (my mini schnauzer) and I went for a walk this morning? Ya, that's how fast it worked :) I think I need to just see challenges around the internets (there's always ONE going on) and piggyback. It worked a while back when I did the Woman's Challenge (8 weeks of 10,000 steps for at least 5 of 7 days), so why not take that and run?

Score!

You women (and men) are so great. So inspirational. I guess this shows a little about me, huh? I'm not always Debbie downer, but I am anxious and worry about things. But, why not focus on the now and wait to freak out later, huh? Focus on the now. ok. So today....

I won a book :) Isn't that awesome!!! I never win things like this. Totally brightened my so far fairly crappy week (we won't even go there!). I forgot I had entered a contest when I posted at MizFit's place, so double bonus! The book is: The Eat-Clean Diet for Family & Kids. I've been assured that it is great even if you don't have kids (I have a hubby that doesn't eat good food...does that count? ;) Maybe it'll give me a boost too. And help with the 6 meals/day. YIKES! I will let you know what I think and how it turns out once I'm done!

Physical Appearance

A post I read yesterday got me started about appearances and losing weight. Granted I haven't lost a lot of weight yet, but I already am seeing saggier arms and stretch marks in my arms and hips (had those already though, thanks so much puberty!). I'm sure it'll be on my belly too :( If you're like me, you of feeling good, but also looking so fabulous once you're smaller and healthier that people will stop on the streets asking us if we're super models. Ok, most of us may not be that unrealistic, but really...we expect to have healthy looking bodies.



Instead, some of us are troubled with sagging skin, lets be serious...boobs too, and stretch marks all over. Instead of being confident about our bodies (like we dreamed of being every second of working out), some of us are even more unsure about them. Sure, we look better in our clothes, but what about the bikini we longed to wear? What about the cute belly button rather than a saggy sad face? The reality is that most of us are not going to look like we're a 16 year old cheerleader. Sad and cruel, but I realize I will not at least. Look at the almighty Oprah...she proudly displayed her "angel wings", I believe she called them. How brave is that!?!

How do we reconcile this and feel good about us all over? Most of us will not be rich enough to afford plastic surgery, ignoring the fact that most of us do not WANT to get it done (side effects are a bitch). what do we do? I would rather live longer and look a little saggy than to die in 10 years fat and plump and no stretch marks. Doesn't that sound good...being healthyt. Not having a heart attack? I've hear they're painful.

But, I also want to feel amazing about myself. Especially after tackling a feat like losing 50 pounds (hopefully more!) in a year or two!! I want to enjoy bein fit and not be stuck with feeling even worse than I did when I was fat.

Maybe the key is to focus on health. Maybe it's to focus on how good you look in clothes. I don't know, but I think it's something we push out of our head until it starts happening. And it's a sore spot for a lot of us...I KNOW it's not just me! But, it's something we rarely talk about. How do you get over it? Do you have fears of this (those of us that are working on being chubby no more!!). Do any of you expert (or not so expert) types have suggestions? I'm going to guess that weight lifting will be on the menu...to ensure the sag is just skin and tighten things. What do you think?

Trying to make low carb living work!

I did start the south beach "diet" (or a version of it...apparently drinking milk is bad, but I refuse to give it up at all...bones, people!!). I did ok but let it go the past few days. Things I did notice: I wasn't as hungry throughout the day. I feelt good (sugar makes me feel weighed down). I didn't mind the food - I got some good ideas at MizFit's place! Ya...uber plugs to MizFit, but I get so many good suggestions from her blog....so many people offer stuff, and she has great advice too. Win, win :)

I also got a wonderful suggestion from Dr. Wifey (thanks!). It's found here (called Kalyn's Kitchen) and she provides the best looking recipies around! I just had to share...I was THAT excited about it :) I figure what I'll do (to keep me on track and to try new things) is to try a recipe of hers or other places that are healthy and let you know how they turn out. I'm excited for this...I think I have a good idea of how to make this work...it seemed so far fetched before (i'm an admitted carb addict...love, love, love french fries and potato chips)!

One I got from MizFit's (don't remember who suggested it, so sorry if it's you!) is an egg mix, kind of mini quiche without the crust (I talked about this before, just not at length). Using muffin tins (I used liners too - makes less clean up) put your desired filling. I used ham and shredded cheese and in a different one feta and spinach, but also am thinking about turkey sausage with cheese or something like that. Then pour in an egg mix (egg, duh huh?, but also some milk product for fluffyness, salt and pepper to taste, etc.). Bake @ 350. I found out I cooked them too long, leading to flattening upon setting, but I think 25 minutes should do. I'll let you know. The cool thing about this is that you can easily take them in the a.m., especially if you use regular muffin liners so that you can nuke it. I'm always pressed for time in the am, so if I can have a handy breakfast to take with me then I won't be tempted to eat fast food!

The randomness of food

You know when someone is doing a big shift in food (presumably when they're eating better?) when they have a ton (literally) of questions.

Random question # 1 :) Why is everyone getting greek yogurt. Is there something special about it? Why not natural or just organic yogurt?

2: PB2...still a good thing? Anyone try it (I know you have MizFit:)? The problem with stuff like this is that I would probably have to order it, so shipping is a -itch. I will try to find it in the hole (not whole...who'd have thunk that I write academic papers!) that is my town though.

3: I tried natural peanut butter and didn't like it (sugar and processing addicts are the worst, aren't they). Does almond butter have any of the gritty consistancy like that? Anyone know?

Geesh, huh? They never end, do they? :) I suppose I should suck up the money and just try it already, but around here the almond butter is $10. My health is worth it, it's just that if I hate it then I'm out a larger chunk.

I got some good suggestions about food on the lovely MizFit's site. One lady said to put either ham and cheese or fetta and spinach (can't remember which...I did both :) into a metal cupcake tin holder and add an egg mix (I just did egg with some seasoning and a little milk? was I wrong?) and bake it @350. When I took it out of the oven they were nice and puffy. After sitting for 15 minutes they were flat :( This is why I don't cook, but since they tasted good I figured they'd be alright.

I grew up on processed foods (or meat and potatos)...and the MIL is a very southern cook. Ah, I guess I just need a little help. I'm thinking of going to couples cooking or some class like that...but I can't seem to find my free time. If anyone finds it, please send it back to me!!!