Bye Bye Scale

I put away my scale. Ok, I had my husband put it away somewhere I don't know about. Yes, we had a long road together. We talked about every day (ok, sometimes way more). That's the problem. Besides that I talk to inatimate objects, I've been too obsessed in the past with losing weight and being skinny instead of being healthier. Even though I talked the "I don't want to have heart disease, diabetes, etc." talk, I didn't walk the walk completely. I didn't do the things that would ensure that I didn't get caught up in the desperate need to be skinnier. I got caught up in a number. A number that I let signify failures and triumphs instead of relying on myself. I let it control my feelings and frustrations - let it get me into spirals that were not pretty. Yes, it's just a number, but it's so much more than that! It's a nubmer that tells the world that I'm a sucess or failure!

This doens't mean that I don't want to look better. That I wouldn't still like to go into any store and reject clothes because they don't have the right fit instead of because they are so tight that I can't fit into them. To go into any of the stores and find clothes that fit, instead of selecting stores based on if they have my size. But, I figure that it's more important to focus on what feels good and trust my instincts than to worry about a number. To eat and exercise because it makes me feel better. To get some internal motivation instead of just external, which as we know works the best!

So, for now, be gone you stupid scale. Your numbers don't have a hold on my any more! They're just numbers. I will let myself and my instincts guide me to where I want to be!