Something struck a cord with me and got me mad. I was reading about people that are over weight, and it was said that some people over eat because then they can delude themselves. They need to feel like they can do something to do to look attractive. To give them hope. They remain overweight because they don't want to give up that hope. Instead of being comfortable with their looks and thin. Then it was pointed out that some people will never be attractive. That some thin people are ugly and there's nothing they can do about it (basically).
Harsh. Ouch. Totally irritated me. Until I realized how many time I used ot think or people say: if I just lost the weight everything would be perfect. Ok, maybe they don't say perfect, but they say things like "I'd get out of the house more, I'd have more friends, I'd go to partys, I could get someone of the opposite sex, etc." Like losing weight will stop the depression and social phobia. It doesn't.
And, there are levels of attractiveness just like there are intelligence. I won't ever be Einstein, but I can be the best person I can and learn as much as I can. I may never look like Angelina Jolie, but I need to appreciate what I have!
I don't think the author was meaning to make people feel bad. It wasn't meant to have people think they were ugly either. It was making people realise that they may hold unrealistic expectations. It's probably why some people gain the weight back. It's not a quick fix. It's not a cure all. Losing weight is simply being a smaller size and healthier. Period.
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I have to say that the fact that I was outraged means that maybe it's something I needed to hear. I guess I should re-read it and see if it's different after I've calmed down.
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Edited for time number 2! I can't post the link. But, keep in mind that it's not that everyone is over weight for these reasons - it was that some people have this problem.
What they went on to say is that inner beauty is what we should be focusing on. And, it's not that there won't be people that find you beautiful. But, some people will never physically look like Angelina Jolie or Katherine Zeta Jones (not their examples, they're mine!).
Also note that I didn't mean to say find people of the opposite sex - I meant a romantic partner.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Outrageous, but true
Posted by Diana at 11:05 AM
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4 comments:
i totally disagree with the statement that some people will never be attractive. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. i may not be sports illustrated beautiful, but my husband tells me i am beautiful and so does my mom. even my hair dresser told me how so very cute i was yesterday. and that made me feel great. since i have lost some weight, i do feel prettier. i do this for me, not for everyone else out there. i want to be able to wear clothes that i think are cute
i'm not sure i understand how overeating and remaining overweight means they don't want to give up hope. do you have a link to this article? i would like to read it
It's not everyone is over weight because they don't want to give up hope. Not everyone is overweight because they don't want to give up hope of being pretty. I think it is more that some people are like this!
Hey Diana,
Yeah I know where you're coming from on this. I kind of thought it was weird too. But there are some truths there.
Hi! I happened over here from Dr. Wifey's site and became really interested in your blog topic. I suffered from eating disorders several years ago for a number of years so the topic is interesting to me. I know that mentally I still deal daily with the same old crap so a lot of what you're saying is still fresh in some ways. I'm sure I don't have a perfectly healthy outlook on food yet. It's a hard thing to overcome. I haven't gotten far enough into your blog to read more details but it is interesting that while there are different ways the disorders are expressed (I dealt mostly with anorexia/bulimia), the thoughts are all so similar. Mine's a far less anonymous blog though so I don't often go into details about it all.
Anyway, don't mean to get too serious on ya! I'll be stopping back by if you don't mind.
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